Should one try to live a life that is not ones? Should we always try to be somebody else?

Should we always strive to live our lives according to some fixed formula?

Should we believe that we are presently leading imperfect and incomplete lives that need improvement, as if we all are cursed by some unknown force to live imperfect and incomplete lives?

It is true we are in many ways imperfect and incomplete. There is no denying of this truth. The very fact that as a species we have evolved on earth, under the ubiquitous laws of nature, and are still evolving,  presupposes the fact that there much in us which is yet to evolve and become perfect. This very idea makes self-development effort imperative to our lives and actions. 

Each of us must have read many inspiring articles on self-development. While reading them many of us might have even felt the urge to change ourselves in various ways so as to become what we dream to become or achieve.  But what happens after that?

In the beginning we become highly motivated. For some time we remain very enthusiastic and determined. Then something happens. The dream goes away. Our will power dissipates. Our initial enthusiasm to change ourselves and become better human beings somehow disappears from our system.  We slow down and relapse into our usual selves. The magic of change we wish to create in our lives does not happen the way we want to. 

There is nothing abnormal about this, because when we are trying to improve ourselves we are actually acting against the laws of nature. We are swimming against the tide. We are trying to transcend Nature and become some one which Nature does not want us to so quickly or so "unnaturally". 

So obviously self-improvement effort is not an easy task. Besides, in this great task we have to first deal with our own minds, which rather prefer to act against us rather than with us. The human mind is a product of Nature and therefore it tends to remain mostly faithful to its creator. To carry it along in our effort to improve ourselves is like trying to carry along an unwilling and insincere friend. 

This however does not mean that all self-development effort is in vain or of no consequence. 

We are fortunate because Nature has also endowed with an inner  sense of perfection, which unlike the ordinary mind, drives us towards the ideal of perfection. This idea of perfection, which seems to stem from our higher mind,  is the actual driving force of all our future evolution. Perhaps this is how Nature finally intends to achieve the further evolution of man through its clumsier and pathetically slower process.

If we accept this as the future game plan of Nature, we realize that self-improvement  is useful not only for our survival, but for the survival of the entire human race. We can say so because when an individual reaches a certain level of progress in his life, he can makes things easier for others by showing them the way. In this sense self-improvement is a tool of Nature that can help us to transcend not only ourselves but  Nature also !

It is true that perfection by itself may not create the conditions conducive to our happiness, because  even a perfect human being has to live amidst imperfect people and deal with them. The lives of great ones amply prove this point. Even the great prophets were not spared from the troubles of human life. We have ample material to prove that the opposing forces of nature, one progressive and the other retrogressive, play their game not only in our minds but outside also. 

But if we look at the lives of the very people who have achieved some degree of perfection in their lives, we realize that over a period of time these people develop a tremendous capacity to generate inner happiness and peace which help them greatly to deal with the outer aspects of their lives. 

This was true. Their happiness comes mostly from within themselves. They remain immune to outer problems because they have developed the capacity to control their inner thoughts and impulses and their by their actions and reactions. They remain undisturbed amidst great problems because they have learned to control their thoughts and their attitudes. And this is the science of self-improvement can give to man. it can help him to control himself and thereby to a greater extent his life. 

The subject of  self-improvement therefore very correctly aims to improve the world not at the collective level but through the individual. It tries to provide each individual with necessary skills and capacities that enable him to face life squarely. It helps him to organize his resources very intelligently and effectively so that he can deal with the disorder and confusion of his life on his terms. It makes him less vulnerable and more capable so that he can adopt himself to his environment or change it if necessary. It develops him into a better player in the drama directed by Nature by helping him to transcend his ordinary nature and his ordinary limitations. 

It is therefore not an exaggeration when we say that self-improvement is central to our living and survival. In many ways it is central to the survival of not only each individual but the entire human race. Truly the ultimate aim of education is but the improvement of the individual so that he can deal with the problems of life more successfully and skillfully. 

the subject of self-improvement helps us to know what we are and where we are, and what we should be and where we should actually aim to reach. When we become aware of the capabilities and potentialities of our minds and bodies, we can also learn the techniques that can help us greatly to achieve them. By effort and practice, we can replace our weaknesses with strengths, our imperfections with perfections, and our negative habits with positive ones.

It is true that life is a game of survival in which the aim of winning is achieved through the process of learning from experience and putting into practice what is thus learned.  The process may be slow and tedious in the beginning. But if you have the sincerity and enthusiasm to achieve your aims you will go far.

It is equally true that no  amount of self-improvement is going to make us perfect human beings in a miraculous way.  Perhaps a life time may not be sufficient enough to achieve complete perfection. Perhaps as the  oriental religions believe many life times may be required for each individual to achieve this goal. 

But let us also accept that even a little success on this path is better than no progress at all. Let us accept that if through self-will man can go against the clumsy process of Nature and hasten the process of his own evolution. Perhaps it may be even true that Nature intends us to achieve our further evolution in this manner only.  

Remember it is you who create your reality. You are the author of your life and your experiences. You can blame hundred people for the suffering you undergo. But if you look at your life carefully you realize that you have been in every way responsible for all your situations. You create them for reason you only can explain and understand. You create them as a part of your learning process. You create them in order to improve yourself in manifold ways. You may refuse to accept responsibility for your experiences. But cannot take yourself away out of them and none can learn better from them than you. 

So in self-development ultimately it is you who matters. It is your effort which matters. Others  may come and join you for some time. But they cannot stay with you for long, since they have to take care of their own lives. Therefore in this game you are the key player. You  have to take the initiative and work for your own improvement and salvation. 

Self-development effort takes you nearer to the center of yourself. But it will not make you self-centered. It helps you to widen the scope of your life and gives you enough reason to accept others for what they are without suffering in the process. It makes your life richer and fuller by giving you a holistic vision in which you can accommodate contradictory elements of life without suffering from any inner conflict. It helps you to absorb life and its myriad manifestations fully and gracefully.