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MENTAL MISERIES: TRUE OR FALSE TEST
Answer the following
statements by circling true or false.
1. I believe
others cause my
feelings. T
F
2. I'm always
telling myself I "should" do this or
that.
T F
3. I
constantly criticize
myself.
T F
4. I think I
must do everything perfectly or not at all. T
T
5. I'm
always apologizing for one thing or
another. T
F
6. I feel
like I'm carrying the world on my shoulders.
T F
7. I'm
really hard on myself when I make
mistakes. T
F
8. I bend
over backwards to please
others.
T F
9. I "scare"
myself into action by imagining horrible
things
that will happen if I don't
do
something.
T F
10. I tend to look
on the negative side of things. My glass
of
water is always half
empty instead of half
full. T
F
11. It's hard for me
to forgive and forget. If someone
hurts
me, I tend to cling to
that
feeling.
T F
12. I often feel
helpless. There are so many things in life
I
can't
do.
T
F
MENTAL MISERIES: MAKING THE GRADE
Give yourself one point
for each "true" answer on the test. # = ______ # Points Results
1-3: You generally feel good about yourself. Keep up your
positive way of thinking.
4-6: The mental miseries may be gaining on you. Take time to
renew your positive traits.
7+: Challenge yourself to change your way of thinking.
Read the following
information to take a closer look at some of the attitudes behind
each of 12 the misery makers. Turn around sour thinking! Seek out
the resources and information suggested to enhance positive thinking
and achieve greater self-understanding and awareness.
Misery Maker #1: Do you believe others cause
your feelings? Do others "make" you feel guilty about things?
Turnaround Mentality: You create your own
feelings and make your own decisions. People and events do not cause
feelings, but they can trigger your mental habits. You may wish to
empower yourself with more information about relationships and
communication skills.
Misery Maker #2: Are you so conscientious in
your self-improvement efforts that you never miss a chance to remind
yourself what you should or should not do? "I should have studied
more." "I shouldn't have eaten so much."
Turnaround Mentality: "Shoulds" don't get the
job done. They're just a way of punishing yourself after the fact.
Guilt and shame don't produce much action; mostly, they drain your
energy and discourage you. More information about realistically
achieving peak performance may help you.
Misery Maker #3: Are you a relentless critic,
always finding fault with the way you look and feel or the way
others act toward you? Do you nag yourself and others, especially
those you care about?
Turnaround Mentality: Replace criticism with
encouragement. Encourage yourself and your friends rather than
criticizing them. Give a compliment or a pat on the back. Visualize
the positive and achieve what you want. Read more about improving
self-esteem.
Misery Maker #4: Do you believe that you must do
everything perfectly or not at all? Do you sacrifice fun in your
life to achieve every goal?
Turnaround Mentality: Perfection is a high goal
to aim for; don't insist on starting there or even arriving there.
Do your best and then accept it. You can enhance your life
performance and have fun, too. Seek out help to deal with your
perfectionist tendencies.
Misery Maker #5: Do you assume you are to blame
whenever someone is upset? Do you often ask yourself, "What did I do
wrong?" If your roommate or significant other is in a bad mood, do
you feel responsible for it?
Turnaround Mentality: The person who is upset
"owns" the problem. Stop apologizing and accepting blame. Everyone
has the right to have angry feelings, but you don't have to feel
guilty. Recognize that interpersonal conflicts can be healthy,
leading to constructive change and deeper understanding. Strive for
emotional wellness with yourself and your relationships.
Misery Maker #6: Do you "steal" responsibility
from others? Do you feel responsible for the happiness of another
person? Do you take on other people's responsibilities, then get
angry when they don't appreciate all you've done for them?
Turnaround Mentality: Stealing responsibility
from others only cheats them out of a growing experience. Learning
to deal with the consequences of one's behavior is part of being an
adult. Seek greater self-responsibility and self-determination. Make
some lists to clarify your own needs and wants. Remember, the world
has many shoulders to carry it.
Misery Maker #7: Do you call yourself stupid if
you make a mistake? Do you call yourself a failure if you slip off
your diet or skip a test review session? If your mistakes are
pointed out to you, do you feel as if you are under attack and
become defensive?
Turnaround Mentality: You're only human, so
treat yourself with kindness, not abuse. Allow yourself to make
mistakes and then forgive yourself. Move ahead with a positive
attitude; take time to laugh at yourself. Explore the healing power
of laughter.
Misery Maker #8: Are you a compulsive people
pleaser? Maybe you need the frequent approval of others and forget
to give yourself approval. Do you make sacrifices and then get mad
at yourself?
Turnaround Mentality: Give yourself permission
to decide you're doing the best you can. Don't wait to hear it from
someone else. Tell yourself you're doing a good job, and ask for
encouragement when you need it. Do something extra nice for a very
important person -- you!
Misery Maker #9: Do you motivate yourself with
fear? Fear and scare tactics may get your attention, but they won't
last long as far as motivation is concerned. You may end up feeling
anxious and unhappy.
Turnaround Mentality: Motivate yourself with
choice, not fear. Visualize success and make decisions that fit with
that image of success. For instance, picture yourself succeeding at
a task and think of the satisfaction and good feelings you'll have
when you meet your goals. Learn more about effective self-assertion.
Misery Maker #10: Do you interpret events and
comments in a negative light? If your friend says "Your hair is
looking good today," do you ask yourself "What was what was wrong
with it yesterday?"
Turnaround Mentality: You do have a choice, so
choose a positive interpretation. Accept a compliment! Look at
temporary setbacks as opportunities for growth. The positive
appraisal will help you maintain your energy and give you an
improved outlook. Encourage positive selftalk from those inner
voices.
Misery Maker #11: Do you hang on to painful
memories? Do you dwell on bad feelings to justify your bad mood? If
someone doesn't say they are sorry, do you stay mad at that
person?
Turnaround Mentality: The only part of the past
that affects you is your present interpretation of it. Only you are
in charge of that. Try to reinterpret these past events in a
positive way. Forgiving is helpful and, at times, is necessary to
move forward. Don't forget to forgive yourself,
too.
Misery Maker #12: Do you coach yourself into
believing you can't do certain things or deal with change?
Do you
frequently hear yourself saying or thinking "I can't"? If you say
this often enough, you will soon believe it. It will become a self-
fulfilling prophecy and you will feel more powerless and out of
control. Turnaround Mentality: Believe in yourself and realize that
you are a capable person. Give yourself positive, encouraging
statements. If your goal requires a response or approval from
others, you revert to feeling helpless and feel out of control. Work
at feeling good about yourself and become more self-reliant. Seek
help when you need it.
YOU ARE RESPONSIBLE. . .
All of
these messages reinforce the fact that you are responsible for
yourself. Your happiness (or your misery) depends upon what you tell
yourself, how you treat yourself, and how you interpret your world.
It's an inside job. So, take the challenge! And, take advantage of
the following resources for your
benefit. | 
