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The Significance of Rituals performed in a Hindu
Marriage
A Hindu Wedding is not simply an exchange of vows
and rings. It includes a number of religious rites before and during
the nuptials, which are performed in the presence of family deities.
These represent the importance of the bond between a husband and
wife. A Hindu marriage or «Vivaha» is incomplete without the
blessings of a spiritual or divine element.
Misri (Ring Ceremony)
All prayers in Hindu ceremonies start by invoking
the blessings of Lord Ganesha (Lord Ganesha unlike all the other
Hindu deities has an elephant head as a result of the unfortunate
conditions explaining Lord Ganesh’s elephant head – his own father
axed off his son’s head and then replaced it with that of the first
animal he saw – the Hindu devout shows his lack of preference
between the Lords by making his preliminary prayers to Lords,
Ganesha). Seven married ladies (portraying 7 forms of God for each
day of the week) use red powder to make a Ganesh sign (clockwise
swastika) on a pot of misri (crystalline sugar) asking him to bless
the couple and make the ceremony run well.
The ladies also sew designs on a white piece of
cloth to ward of any Nazar (evil eyes cast) that may come upon the
happy occasion. This cloth is worn by the couple on the wedding day.
(Note some couples leave the preparation of the white cloth until
the Ghari puja.)
A puja is done by the couple and their parents
welcoming God in different forms and asking for his blessings. They
pray to Lord Ganesha, Varun Devta, Laxmi & Narayan, the Gods on
governing the 9 planets, and Om (i.e. Triumverate Brahma, Vishnu and
Shiva).
Garlands are exchanged by the couple in order to
welcome each other into their lives. This part of the ceremony is
known as the Varmala.
As gold lasts for ever, rings made of gold are
exchanged by the couple in order to represent a long married life.
It is believed that the fourth finger of the hand has a vein leading
directly to the heart. Hence the groom wears the ring on the fourth
finger of his right hand and the bride wears hers on the fourth
finger of her left hand in order to form a complete heart.
The groom’s family places a basket of fruits,
clothes, cosmetics or ornaments on the girl’s lap (in her jholi) to
represent their acceptance into her family and bestowing her with
happiness and prosperity.
The groom’s family gives a verbal promise of
marriage and feeds misri (crystalline sugar) to the girls family to
confirm the engagement. The eating of sweet is considered auspicious
by the Hindus and thus is eaten on all happy occasions.
Mehndi (Henna - Painting of Hands &
Feet)
This festive occasion, originally of Muslim origin,
is usually held in the late afternoon. This is primarily a ladies
tea-party; however the male relatives are allowed to be present. On
the «mehndi», the future bride has her hands and feet intricately
patterned with a paste which is a recipe of henna, oil, lemon juice
and some water tinted with tea. The application of mehndi or henna
takes about four hours to complete. Ideally, the bride-to-be should
not wash her hands until the paste has completely dried. Invitees at
the party also design each others hands with mehndi. Mehndi
signifies the strength of love in a marriage. The darker the mehndi,
the stronger the love. See more information on Mehndi.
Sangeet Party (Musical Party)
Music is the soul of any wedding ceremony,
regardless of faith or origin. Without music & festivity, the
wedding lacks sparkle. On the Sangeet night, entertainment is
provided with the help of professional singers who sing popular
Hindi film songs. Family and friends eat, drink and dance the night
away.
Sagri (Acquaintance)
The sisters and female relatives of the groom visit
the bride-to-be in her home. They bring with them perfume, cosmetics
and flowers that are strung together in the form of earrings,
bangles, hairpieces and garlands. The sisters adorn their
sister-in-law to be with the flowers, suggesting their affection for
her. The purpose of this ceremony is to increase familiarity between
the bride and her new family, creating an atmosphere that is
fragrant and beautiful.
Nav-Graha Puja (Worship to the Nine
Planets)
This is the prayer to the nine planets of our Solar
System. Ancient Indian studies indicate that various celestial
bodies have tremendous influence on the destiny of every individual,
and among them the effect of the nine planets is "supposed" to be
the most profound. During this puja, the Gods associated with these
planets are asked to bless the couple and their families.
Ghari Puja
This is the final and most important religious
custom that is performed on the eve of the wedding day. «Ghari Puja»
is carried out in the respective homes of the couple. The priest
performs the prayers with rice, coconut, wheat grains, oil, betel
nuts, turmeric and a number of other spices. Married ladies grind
wheat on a small old fashioned grinder symbolising that the home
will always be prosperous. The groom offers a handful of grains to
the priest indicating that although he is changing his lifestyle, he
will always give to charity and look after those less fortunate than
himself.
The mothers of both the bride and groom dress up in
their bridal finery. Carrying an earthen pot of water on their
heads, they walk to the threshold of their homes. The son-in-law of
the respective families cut the water with a knife to ward off any
evil spirits. The parents are adorned with garlands of flowers and
money by their friends and relatives. The bride and groom wear old
clothes that are torn off by their friends and family members amidst
merriment, illustrating the end of their old life.
Swagatam (Welcome)
After the bride dresses up in her wedding ensemble,
her sisters or female relatives escort the groom to the brides
house. At the entrance, the groom places his right foot on the top
of the brides foot, signifying that he should be the dominating
strength in their life together. After the groom enters the house,
the brides parents rinse his feet with milk and water. It is
believed that due to all the prayers that have preceded this moment,
the groom is an embodiment of Lord Vishnu on this wedding
day.
Hathialo (Joining of the Hands)
In this ceremony, the corner of the brides sari is
tied to a scarf which is worn by the groom. The right hands of the
couple are tied with a thread that has been blessed with religious
incantations. The typing of the hands signifies an eternal bond that
will join them forever. The couple then pray to the Gods to give
them strength and bless their union.
The Wedding
Ceremony
The wedding ceremony is performed by the priest in
the presence of family and friends. The bride and groom are seated
in front of a holy fire and the priest recites various religious
sayings from the Holy scriptures. According to the Hindu religion,
fire is considered the sustainer of life. It is believed that the
Gods and Goddesses sit around this auspicious fire. The priest
directs various family members to give offerings into the holy fire.
The couple walks around the fire four times exchanging vows of duty
and love, fidelity, respect and a fruitful union. the groom then
places the brides hand on his forehead, to denote that he accepts
her as his wife for better of for worse, in health or in sickness
and that it his destiny to marry her. The couples heads are held
together implying that although they are separate individuals, from
this day onwards, they are one in body, mind and spirit.
Kanya Daan (Entrusting of the
Daughter)
The brides parents entrust their daughter in the
safe keeping of the groom and his family.
Ashirwaad (Blessing)
The priest explains to the couples their
responsibilities to each other and then gives them his holy
blessings. This completes the marriage ceremony.
Datar (Salt Ceremony)
After friends and family have greeted the couple, they leave for
the grooms house. At the entrance of their new home, the brides feet
are rinsed by the grooms parents. A cover is placed over her head as
she sprinkles milk in all corners of the house. This signifies that
she will maintain the respect of the family and that if there are
any misunderstandings within the family, she is supposed to help
solve or "cool" them. Surrounded by her new family, the bride picks
up a handful of salt and places it in the hands of her husband. He
passes it back into her hands without spilling any salt. This is
done three times. Similarly, the «datar» is carried out with all
members of the grooms family. Exchanging salt symbolises that just
as salt blends in and gives taste to food, so must the bride blend
in and become a part of her new family.
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